I've just found a very hilarious generator of "program notes for the Theatre de la Ville" (on the web site of Martin Granger, a contributor of a mailing-list I'm involved in):

http://margranger.free.fr/critique.htm

Every time you reload the page, you get another text. It's made after some excerpts of the real season brochure of the Theatre de la Ville (a theatre in Paris which shows a lot of modern dance, and also some music and theatre). Well, I've read some stuff which sounded almost like that... Perhaps someone should show that URL to Jiri Kylian!

This is funny. You could probably do this with many brochures, only in America, the advertising language is less intellectual and more about NEW! EDGY! SMASHING BOUNDARIES!

Thank you, Estelle, this is a scream. Loved the poems à la Rimbaud, too.

Actually, when reading it, I sometimes thought "now I know where some reviewers of the late "Saisons de la Danse" magazine found their inspiration"... He calls the 2002-2003 brochure of the Theatre de la Ville a "monument of hermetic literature", and well, that's not so far from the truth!

Those who don't know French can translate the program notes with BabelFish:

http://babelfish.altavista.com/tr

And for a truly unique effect, try putting that page onto this one:

http://rinkworks.com/dialect/

It doesn't do anything to the main text, but you should see what it does to the marginal notes and main page! Especially in Swedish...Chef!

i really like what it did to this site!:

Ballet Alert! Fry mah hide!

That Altavista translation site is wonderful - a real boon to those of us who are language challenged! But Mel, are you sure you haven't divulged a secret government site with that "dialiectizer"? ;)

then there's the ever-popular Oracle of Bacon, at www.cs.virginia.edu/oracle, linking any actor or actress to kevin bacon, and the Star Links that you can access from there, linking any actor or actress to any other. For instance:

Linking Erik Bruhn to Marie Rambert:

The Oracle says: Marie Rambert has an Erik Bruhn number of 3.

Marie Rambert was in Red Shoes, The (1948) with Albert Bassermann
Albert Bassermann was in I Was a Criminal (1945) with George Chandler
George Chandler was in Hans Christian Andersen (1952) with Erik Bruhn

According to the Oracle - Dolly Parton and George Balanchine have three degrees of separation.

Small world!

not to mention:

The Oracle says: Mikhail Baryshnikov has a Yma Sumac number of 3.

Mikhail Baryshnikov was in White Nights (1985) with Stefan Gryff
Stefan Gryff was in Surviving Picasso (1996) with Joss Ackland
Joss Ackland was in Apple, The (1980) with Yma Sumac

or

The Oracle says: Anna (I) Pavlova has a Johnny Depp number of 3.

Anna (I) Pavlova was in Dumb Girl of Portici, The (1916) with Boris Karloff
Boris Karloff was in Curse of the Crimson Altar (1968) with Christopher Lee
Christopher Lee was in Sleepy Hollow (1999) with Johnny Depp

okay okay i'll stop!!!!!!!!!